I know - it's been too damn long since I've written. Not that I have an audience or anything. But, I am my own perpetual, internal, external and omnicient audience. And if someone else is out there - I am humbled that you have partaken in my ramblings on about the deeper things of life.
I am quite a clown, you know. I'm not all about the fall and winter, the blues and blacks, the ice and rain --- endings and sunsets.
I am about the orange in the day-glow, the red of the desert rain, the spring and summer, bright linen and the sun herself. I just find that when I dive deeper, like anything else that is the metaphor for surgery, I find tiny things in the dark that somewhere were perhaps, never meant to be found. And if you found them - the question is, then what??

I have always been a person who is all about the micro. My cynical nature is maybe the culprit behind it.
"Nah, you've gotta be lying to me," or "Aww, that's not all there is -- there's something lurking. There's always something lurking."

And my spirit, armed with a scalpel, has always searched beneath surfaces. I'm always curious about what things are made of.

My absence with bloggin is filled with both excuses and reasons. But, it is where they overlap that's interesting. Within that blend lies the minutia of life. The multi-dimensional messiness of the way things really are. Not resume perfect and finely starched. In my time away from this blog, I have lived a nano-second of a century - it seems. And so many important, life-changing decisions have been made.

It is now time for a new journey -- a journey that, like the outstretched Texas land, will never reach a horizon. I've decided to move to Austin and pursue my music, expression, the place I left behind, old friends, family, writing, quiet and healing. Most of all I am returning to my birthplace with an amazing and truly-earned sense of self. Wow am I grounded! And wow am I prepared - fearless - confident. Now, it's time to manifest these intangibles into some real world realities. Although i don't believe in the silliness of what our world deems to be "successful" and "the right thing to do", I do believe in self-actualization and the courage to put that into something that can bring some hope and smelling salt to a comatose society - as well as to our individual selves. Above all, let it be inspiring.

I will spend the next several weeks writing about my utter gratitude to San Francisco, my friends and experiences here. I will explore all of the micros related to that experience and once in a while will take you out on a hot-air balloon ride high above the Trans-America building, over Twin-Peaks, atop the cool foggy hills and towards Napa Valley.
I want to forever remember the sights from up here ----
But, I am ready - ready for the hot, territories of Texas; a mysterious place in which I didn't yet have the insight or maturity to explore. Those old grounds that stretch out to the edge of earth; forever teasing the eye to no end.

But before I arrive there I must say -
Thank you California. Thank you San Francisco --- for helping me gain the courage to go back home.

I am eternally thankful for your warm embrace in your endless cool autumn breeze ---------------

SONG: "Wunderkind" The Chronicles of Narnia SDTK - Alanis Morissette