This has been a long time ... I've been traveling in a worm hole through time and space, sniffing here and there, jaw-dropping once in a while, bored other times and floating in a stream of it all.

People, sometimes - misunderstand me. Yet, the world keeps hanging out in the middle of nowhere and my life, life in general, is all but a sneeze away from being over.

I haven't been here, blogging in a while. And why do I do it? Why do I even feel the need to externalize myself, to whispers, fast moving lights, business, the all of everything that is so self-involved that they don't see the person next to them. We have become like those horses trained and bred to toil and sweat without ever really knowing why we did.

So, I'm here in the middle of this place --- this place where everyone is so busy doing something --- alot of nothing. It is inevitable, if you're paying attention at all, that someone/people might believe that what I'm saying comes from an arrogance or some superiority complex inside of myself. I can see how and why some may think that. Or, maybe they don't at all. Perhaps it's just myself not wanting to meet myself. Maybe I'm afraid of myself and all that she is, has been and is becoming. Maybe I have to pretend I am less than I am so that I feel I have a place in this world - so that I won't be misunderstood.

My life is turning. Not left or right, but several circles forward and upward, forward and upward, forward and upward --- my soul is rising through perpetual motion itself and is sustained by the surrender to it.

But, who gets that? Who wants to get that?
So, I guess just posing these two questions would suggest that my knowledge isn't knowledge but instead arrogance. But, the arrogance isn't in me. It is confidence earned through humility.

There is a thing about a person becoming who they need to in their lives. All things around them -- people around them -- are scared. So, what's there to do? Crash in a deserted island like the folks in "Lost"? Plan your own fake death? Otherwise, it is hard to get away... to get away from the gasped breaths of those witnessing your transformation right before their eyes. They are not really asking "why are you doing this" but rather, "how dare you do this" ... how dare, you.

The arrogance of knowledge only exists in the culdasac of it -- in the backwater of the ebb and flow. That is to say, arrogance can only suckle on the certainty of denial. Denial then breeds more denial. Then this breeds vulnerability = fear = making excuses = projecting on everyone/everything else but yourself and your own weaknesses. Then, there you are. If you are known to be someone with knowledge to challenge the world that will require a little bit of tolerance for pain, then you are .... arrogant. Suddenly, everything you know (that you earned) is not what you know.

You are arrogant in the face of the judgement that comes from arrogance.

So, you -- "I" -- will stand there in the puddle and watch and listen to the lips slowly moving and sounds of whispers all around me. And I won't look down and I won't look forward. I will look upward and wait to rise, like steam into a never-ending, misunderstood and omnicient sky.

When you arrive there --- it's hard to be, here.